It doesn't really go away...

The good side of having a blog is that you can vent and share your thoughts whenever you want to. (Just remember to be a responsible blogger because you know, there's this anti-cybercrime law. :P) Anyway, I just had some few realizations yesterday and I want to share it to everyone. I also want to know if there's anyone who can relate with what I've been through.

So I'm a fan of the tv series "forevermore" and after watching an episode online showing how Xander thinks of the happy memories that he had with Agnes, a lot of memories flashed back too! (Call me an emo, I'm such a sucker for romantic songs and shows!) And so a trip to memory lane came handy.

It's not a secret to most of my friends that I came from a very traumatic relationship few years back. Before I met my husband, I got my heart broken into tiny pieces, so tiny that I thought I wouldn't be whole again. (Oops, before we move on, I am writing this not because I am bitter, but somehow I want to share what I've been through. No ill feelings, pinky promise.) I was so devastated when I lost something I thought I could keep for the rest of my life. Well, we're not really meant to be for each other. I would lie if I'll say it didn't hurt that much. God knows how I wished to heal as quick as possible. I suffered sleepless nights, puffy eyes and shower scenes. Daig ko pa si Popoy! It hurts. It hurts big time.

And then there came my husband who fixed everything that hurt. My husband made me believe that I can be okay, I will be okay, and finally I am okay. And so we got married, (and expecting a baby), had the best time of our lives, and moved on. I thought the pain disappeared because finally, I know I am already healed. Guess I was wrong.

Yesterday, when I thought of these things, of how painful it was before, I realized, the pain is still there. It's been what, five, six years? And yes, the pain never really went away. It's still here. But you know what? It doesn't hurt anymore. The pain lives inside my little heart, but I'm used to it. I guess, when you had your heart broken, scars will be there, and it will forever be there. Just like before. The good news is, you'll be okay. You know how much it hurts but you're okay. It will just be a painful memory of a closed chapter of your life. Just like what happened to me.

And every time I remember my painful past, I will be thankful that it happened because it led me to where I am today.


much love,