God's love is amazing.

It was indeed a very tiring leave yesterday, because it's my monthly check up again. But let me skip that first for a more important realization in my life today. Last night John decided to leave his car in Manila so that he can drive for me home. He said "ayoko nang umuwi at magdrive ka magisa, pagod ka na." I am almost four months pregnant with an active baby and I drove the whole day yesterday, and it was indeed really tiring. We arrived home a bit late. At first I am planning to sleep immediately, but maybe it has been a routine for us to talk before we sleep about anything under the sun. And last night's topic was... our baby's name! I know my baby will hate me for the rest of his/her life if we'll name him/her bacon, so I said we shall think of better names, something the baby will never be ashamed of. We've decided to name the baby "Anita Anastacia" if she'll be a baby girl. (named after our beloved grandmothers) but if it will be a boy, I honestly do not have any ideas in mind. Oh, but John said we can name him "Juan Carlos" (named after him of course) but I said it's too close to John Carlos so we can still think of other names. I don't know why I suggested Fabaroti, and Juancho Miguel (telenovela-ish) and other funny names! My husband must be really amazed that he's now calling the baby Fabaroti! Oh baby, we love you so much that we're thinking of the best name to give you! ;)

So we slept late last night and I woke up a bit later than usual this morning. I was too tired to wash the dishes last night, so I told John let me do that today because I want to rest. And then he said okay. He woke me up this morning with sweet kiss telling me that he'll be leaving already. It's also starting to be a habit for him to listen to my tummy (and claiming that he's hearing the baby) and to kiss it to say goodbye not just to me but to baby. I find it sweet (and I know our baby does too) that he/she is loved as early as now. I even talk to him/her everyday, and telling our munchkin to just be healthy and hold on. Pregnancy is not an easy journey, but no worries, it is indeed a privilege to be bearing a child.

And so he left the house and after a few minutes, I went down to get ready for work. And to my surprise, the dishes are already clean and the hot water is ready! (I only use hot water when taking a bath) I almost cried because of too much happiness. This might be really usual and "mababaw" to some, but to me, it is a very meaningful act of kindness. Again I am just reminded of how God destined me to spend the rest of my life with someone who will take good care of me. In fact, I felt more special when I got pregnant. He cooks for me, cleans the house and do everything so I can rest. Sorry but I am not really a home buddy so doing chores is not really my thing. I'd rather work in the office all day than doing that. But God gave me a very loving husband that he is willing to do everything for me.

I immediately sent John a text message thanking him for loving me unconditionally. And as always, I am showered with sweet words from him. John is God's reminder that happiness is not measured by the material things that one can have. Rather, happiness is sharing your life with someone who will never let you feel you are alone.

Here's one of my favorite e-session photos that we had a few years back. A constant reminder of how happy we are having each other. :)

much love,

Happy Hearts!

Hello everyone! I know it's late but I hope everyone had a lovely hearts day. Don't feel bad if you're single! Independence must be celebrated! There's nothing to be ashamed of not having romantic dates every 14th of February, okay? (See, I'm still and will always be an advocate of single ladies out there.)

Anyway, I must say we didn't have a lavish valentines day celebration this year. Well, one obvious reason is that we are saving up for our little bacon (will tell you why bacon in my next entries) and another is that I had been short-tempered lately. (Hormones!)

Side story: So last Saturday morning, I woke up seeing my husband cleaning the house. He asked me if I can cook chicken noodles since he's hungry. And then I told him I want to put eggs, so I asked him to buy eggs from the convenient store near our house. And he said he's still fixing our things. And then I got mad and didn't talk to him the whole day!:P (talk about hormonal preggo topak days!:P) And then something came up and I can't tell him because of my pride. And then after work, he said I should prepare because we'll have dinner. And I said I'm not hungry (lie!) and I don't want to go out. He said I can eat salad. When he arrived, he has flowers for me! (told him not to buy me anything---this is sincere! but he insisted.)

And then I told him what happened that day. I was crying and telling him I couldn't tell the story to anyone because he's the only person who can understand everything that I am going through. He is telling me I shouldn't feel really bad because it will be bad for the baby. And then I felt better after I told him what happened. As always, he had been very supportive. 

We had a short dinner after. Nothing fancy but just the way we both want it to be. Too bad I am feeling nauseous that night that I was not able to eat well.

The best part of my day still is realizing that I will always have my husband to support me. I know there are a lot of nega vibes outside our relationship, but having him around makes everything bearable.

much love,

Happy First! :)

This is probably one of my favorite wedding pictures of ours. My husband is such a funny soul (obvious naman diba) and the camera captured this moment. A year ago, I got married to my best friend. It was indeed a memorable date... 1.4.14. Our wedding was two years in the making, we got engaged July 18, 2012 (his birthday) and got married on the first Saturday of 2014. And last Sunday marks the first year of our marriage. 

Looking back, our year had been a tough one. I've decided to let go of our life in the city and go back to Bulacan to help in my parents' business. (That is a huge sacrifice in my husband's part, as his work is in Manila) It was indeed one of the toughest decisions that we have made as a new married couple. We looked for a small room in Bulacan and stayed there. It is a mutual decision not to stay in my parents' house. We are both raised to be independent. Also, we had our ups and downs as a newly-wed. But because of that, I have learned how to compromise and accept John's strengths and weaknesses. In the same manner, he learned how to handle me in my worst slate. (I am the most topakin person ever!) As early as now, I realized that God gave me a very patient and loving husband, I know he will always give the best that he can for me and our future kids.

The day wasn't really how I planned it to be. Because of some priorities, we decided to stay in our humble home the whole day because I need some rest. So I just slept the whole day. When I felt better that night, we decided to watch a movie and ate dinner somewhere.

I'm so happy with what my husband gave me, a carrier charm and a bouquet of beautiful flowers!:) Thank you hubby, you really know what I love!

And to cap the night, we had dinner at Manam. We went to Fairview Terraces because he got curious of the place. I can't walk that much so after the dinner and the movie, we went home. It was indeed the simplest anniversary that we had since we became bf-gf, but I am beyond blessed that God gave us our number 1 wish this year. He promised me that when I get better, we will celebrate somewhere else. :) Still, I am really happy spending my life with my weirdo. I couldn't imagine it the other way around anyway. :)

much love,

Past. Present.

Pardon this mushy cheeseballs post, I just feel romantic and thankful today, and I want to share it to everyone. :)
I am a big fan of timehop app, because I want to know what happened to me few years back. So this morning, this is what surprised me.

This happened three years ago, when he put a drum of vetsin in my food and I fell inlove with this weirdo. I am a huge fan of happily ever after before a storm came and shattered everything into small pieces. But then again, when I learned things the hard way, I became whole again. And right after that, he happened. The extremely makulit guy who asked for my number in exchange of a twenty-peso Mcdonalds meal is now the first person I see when I open my eyes every morning. It amazes me really, how fate leads you to somewhere. You'll just know, that's where you should be.

And then here's what happened last night. In the middle of waiting for our food and stories of friends, he kissed me. He always does, I am showered with "ang ganda ganda ng asawa ko" every now and then. Something like "ang swerte ko ikaw napangasawa ko." Who would not love hearing those things? Apart from the love, it is the appreciation that mattered most to me. In my entire life, I have always been trying to be on top. From family, to ex-lovers, friends. But now, I have the crown. hahaha! And nothing feels better than having someone to share your completeness with. He's my husband, my bestfriend and my life. (OA na sa kakesohan to!)

Just sharing!xx

New Ob. New Hope. :)

I've been really thinking of the decision of having another ob gyne to help us in our ttc journey. Given my condition, I cannot just rely on pure luck to conceive. I still say that this is a blessing, because we are able to plan our next steps in our married life. Our previous ob had been very kind and patient with me. (I always forget the last day of my period and the last time we had bd) But then during my last visit, I suddenly feel like she is losing her hope in us, so that convinced me to try my luck this time.
After some research, I've came across a certain Dra. Aguilar. I've read a lot of successful ttc stories about her, plus her PF is reasonable, so we decided to try. Yesterday, I asked my mother/boss if I can leave the office early for our check up. I went to P. Faura with my ever supportive husband. We looked for Healthpoint clinic and  to our surprise, she is no longer having consultations in that clinic. The receptionist told us that she is having her clinic in FMAB. (What FMAB?) So we looked for that clinic only to find out that it is inside PGH. When we arrived, someone told us that she might no longer accommodate us because she is in a hurry. I told them we are willing to wait as we came from Bulacan and it will just be a waste of time in case. And thank good heavens, she agreed to have our first consultation with her!:)
I've discussed my case with her. After some questions, she asked me to undergo some bloody PAINFUL tests to determine the problem. I've been scared of needles and blood extractions, but for our future baby, I will do everything! My husband will also undergo sperm analysis, just to be sure. I am really thankful to have a very cooperative, supportive and loving husband of all time. hahaha. His constant reminder? "Wag kang mastress." Dra. Aguilar said I am too young to worry and she promised to do everything that she can for me to conceive. Now I am more inspired to take folic acid vits and be healthy for the sake of our future baby.

I will be updates of our ttc journey regularly. (Hopefully a BFP anytime soon!xx)

Here's her details, just in case anyone might be interested.:)

.Sweet November.

Pardon me for not posting our entire Korea trip, my husband is still in busy mode, and our raw photos are still raw, (meaning, I cannot even browse them on his laptop) and his photos are better than mine (since I only used my phone to take our pictures) so I decided to wait for it before sharing our story to everyone. :)

Yesterday was our 10th month anniversary of being a married couple. As I grow older, I am becoming less of a fan of monthsaries. (Don't get me wrong, I still want to celebrate) but because of other priorities, we'd rather not make a big fuss about it. Anyway, yesterday, it's a miracle that my husband remembered. I always make "tampo" when he forgets, but when I do, he can't get mad! :P hehehe. Anyway, we decided to celebrate a bit last night. We're too lazy to go to Manila to look for a decent resto, so we decided to go to SM Marilao instead. (naks SM Marilao!hahaha) But it's too traffic so John looked for an alternate route. Then we passed by this restaurant somewhere in Bocaue. Wakamatsu Yakiniku. We heard a lot about it, so last night, we decided to give it a try.

It is an eat all you can Japanese restaurant. 419/pax, not bad! :) and I must say that it's good! My favorite is the mixed salpicao! (Big fan of salpicao here) Their maki is good as well. John tried the beef tongue and he said that it's also good. :) I forgot to take pictures of our food because I am too hungry that night to do that. :P

And after our dinner, we decided, no, scrap that, I decided to go to Starbucks because of Toffee Nut!:) Yaay for my fave drink! Not really a fan of their planners, but I love Toffee Nut! So we had some well-deserved quality time for each other. 

And, let me take this chance to be cheesy and all. To my husband, who has been very supportive in all my decisions (big or small), my absorber of all of my topaks, my best friend, my adventure buddy, and my love... Thank you for the ten blissful months of marriage. I will always believe in you. I love you!!

much love,

Quality Time.

First of all, I want to express how excited I am for our autumn Korea trip this weekend. Been saving up and planning this trip since February, and now that we're three days away from our honeymoon part 2, I can't hide how elated I am knowing that I will delete one item in my growing bucket list. (which I plan to post again after this entry)

So, what's new? I am still in my TTC journey, but I have decided not to be that pressured like before, because, there's no point of stressing myself in something which I know will come on the right time. As a newly-wed couple (we're three months away from our first wedding anniversary so I still consider that as new, right?:P), we're still on our journey to save up for our own house and our future. I was trained to be independent, I always work hard for everything that I have right now. Believe it or not, I didn't have any jewelries before my engagement ring. Sure, my parents have their businesses, but I chose not to associate myself on what they have. So with the help of my ever frugal husband, we are saving up for our own little abode. It is also our mutual decision not to live with either of our families, because we are both raised to be on our own ever since.

Before marriage, our original plan is to try to have a baby a year after our wedding. Because it is a mutual decision to enjoy our time together before our little bundle of joy. But then the condition that I have right now made it difficult to proceed as planned, so as early as last month, I had my OB check up done. And now, we are exhausting our means to conceive. I can feel the pressure, from my family, friends, and everybody else except my husband. He had been very understanding and supportive. Now, I came to a realization that maybe, God is giving us enough time to enjoy as a couple before giving us our child. I still get to travel (which is one of my favorite things to do), shop for myself, and go out with my friends until the wee hours of the day. I still get to enjoy watching a movie with my husband whenever I want to.

I just want to share our most recent photo (excuse my haggard feslak) to remind me that I am still fortunate to have the luxury of time to share with my husband alone. We are fans of cheap thrills and inexpensive dinners, and last night, we we're able to spend time again together. We had a massage and cheap (yet yummy) dinner after. I know everything will change when God grants our wish, so instead of being too hard on myself, I will enjoy our time together and thank God for the most precious gift of time. :)

Optimism! :)

Hello! :) I've decided to share some positive thoughts today, because it's Monday. It has been a routine to squeeze in five minutes of thread-reading everyday. I must admit that most of the time, I feel bad about my condition. I find it so unfair that other people get pregnant easily, while on the other hand, I need to undergo some medications before getting that BFP. I've been a good stalker.(or to change it to a more politically correct term-researcher.) So I've been searching the best way to help me get pregnant. Like what I have mentioned here, I've been diagnosed with PCOS, so I have irregular periods since then. This might be our first month to try our luck, and my OB already told me that I have a little chance to get pregnant this cycle. (Just this cycle!) I'm just praying that next cycle, God will give us the BFP! :)

Now because of curiosity, I will be having my first ever acupuncture treatment with Sr. Regina Liu on Saturday. I am really afraid of needles and I have the lowest pain tolerance, but in the name of our future baby, I will do everything! Hay naku anak, hindi ka pa man din nabubuo love na love na kita! 
I will keep everyone posted about this new experience.

Today, I decided to have some change of attitude with my journey to TTC. I will do my best to erase all the negative vibes that will come along my way! The reason why?

This.

I have the most supportive husband ever. He crosses out every appointment that he has so he can be there for me during my check ups. He never loses hope. He's optimistic about everything. I don't know how but he is. Not just in this ordeal but in everything. He is always happy. And I'm getting my daily dose of strength and optimism from him. We will have our baby in God's time. I love you and your big nose bubba! =P

Plus this.

Our dearest baby Shasha! She had been our baby and she just gave birth to a super cute baby girl!:) The ever quiet and sweet Pomeranian had been our outlet of love and care. We love you little shasha!! <3

So that's my dose of positivity today. ;) This week we are keeping our fingers crossed for another good news, so that I can cross out one item in my bucket list. Please include us in your prayers!! xx

much love,

Niki xx

TTC week 2.

Just want to share some updates! Well, I bring some not-so-good news, but I am just so blessed to have a very optimistic husband. On our way after my check up, I asked him, "Bi, pano kung hindi ibigay ni Lord, pupunta ka ba sa Cebu at maghahanap ng babaeng pwede mong anakan?" (Since we've seen the replay of Ang Dalawang Mrs. Real last Sunday) He said "ang aga aga pa ano ka ba! Kumain ka ng saging para mabuntis ka!" (because I don't eat healthy foods) I am happy that I have a very supportive husband. I know it's too early to lose hope, but I have this low EQ thing that I get happy, sad or depressed easily.

Here's the result of my 4th ultrasound this cycle.

According to my OB, the follicle did not increase in size as we are all expecting. I had discharge, so I was expecting that I am already ovulating. But the ultrasound broke my heart. However, I now have three dominant follicles. (before I only have one) so that's still good news right? My body is reacting to meds! So now I just have to wait for my AF and take Fertyl this time. She's increasing my dosage next cycle to increase the chances of winning! mehehe. She said we just have to try and try. I'm still young and there's still hope. We're not giving up. :)

much love,

Niki xx