Of expecting little surprises.

Just like some newly wed couples, John and I are also getting a lot of "wala pa bang laman yan?" or "magbaby na kayo." I know I've gained a little weight (or more hehe) after the wedding, but not the gained weight that I had five years ago. NO waaay! Going back, I know my parents are really excited to have their first apo, since it's been a long time that we do not have a baby in the house.

Our original plan is to have a baby after a year of marriage. Because of the simple reason that we want to enjoy each other before we have an addition to our little family. I still want to travel and save. But then again, last month, I talked to my husband and told him that I had some sort of "epiphany". I told him I know I'm not ready to have a baby YET, but who is? I have a lot of friends who already have kids and they said that you will be ready in the process.

As some of you may know, I have PCOS. (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I am not really into medical facts or whatever, but to keep it simple, I have cysts in my ovary that makes my period irregular. I have been relying into pills for almost six years now, and I didn't get my period when I am not in pills. This reason made it easier for me to decide that we should be trying to have our baby as early as now. And so we started trying. And as expected, I didn't get my period. One week, two weeks, three weeks now. I stopped taking my Diane and prayed that maybe now, I will not have my period for a different reason.

After a week, we took the test, and of course, I got one line. I was so sad seeing that, God knows I am expecting another line to appear, but maybe, this is not the right time for us. John had been very supportive telling me that we still have our lifetime to have a baby. But I love, no slash that absolutely adore having kids! Both of us! Another week, we took another test, and it yielded the same result.

Of course this does not end here. I had my first OB check up to know the meds that I should take to correct my hormones. I also have to undergo some tests and all to see what's wrong with my repro system.

I am not losing my faith that in the right time, everything will fall into its proper places. I might be pressuring myself too much because of my love for little kids and that I could not wait to carry in my arms our own blessing. :)

much love,

Niki xx