It's not really a bad thing after all.

I have been a huge fan of stories about infidelity and cheating. As a victim, no let me change that, as a hero who experienced such, I have listed down some important things to keep in mind, that MIGHT help you build yourself again. (when sleepless nights and tears are over.)

1. You don't have to blame yourself.
Ever heard yourself saying "ano bang ginawa ko bakit mo ko pinagpalit sa iba?? Am I not good enough for you?"
Then goes guilt, resentment and self-pity. You feel really insecure about yourself. The girl he's with now is prettier, more popular or more established than you. You look at the mirror checking those dark spots and blemishes, and you realize, pangit ko na talaga siguro kaya nya ako iniwan. You will regret calling him several times a day, because you think you are too clingy and he doesn't like that.

Well, to answer the question, none. nada. waley boom boom lei. And no, you are not, and will never be good enough for someone, who is really not meant for you. So stop asking yourself. Because I'm telling you, you are the best person to the man who is for you.


2. It's okay not to be okay.
Feeling the urge to call your friends for beer and some "how do you heal a broken heart" videoke session? Do it. Call your friends and take all the alcohol. Get drunk. Feel like crying every night before you sleep. Bury yourself into tears and cry. Been dying to shop but your boyfriend oops, ex-boyfriend told you not to do so? Do it now! Call your bff and splurge. Release the inner Basha within you and cut your hair! Have a fabulous make over.

You are not okay, indeed, in the process of moving on, you will never be. It's fine, being hurt, and yes, devastated is indeed a negative feeling, but be sure, be pretty sure that you'll build a bridge and get over it.


3. Everything happens for a reason.
This might sound a cliche. And yes, it is a cliche. When I got my heart broken and my best friend tells me this, all I can think about is "then what the hell is the reason??" Bakit ang tagal i-reveal ng universe kung bakit nangyayari to?! But when your heart is broken, you will never understand anything. Not even the most gentle reminder of people around you.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Let time reveal the reason why it happened. In God's time, you will know.  In His time, you will understand.


4. One day it will all be worth it.
Yes it hurts. All those walling in white lingerie in the shower; the bucket of popcorn while watching One More Chance every single day; tearing all the love letters that he gave you; going through the places where you had your firsts; and just feeling the pain. Nobody can ever understand and feel the pain you've been through. Just yourself.

And when these things are no longer familiar to you, you look at yourself and the mirror and feel good about what you see, you will realize, all those dramas are worth it. You may have learned your lessons the hard way, but nothing worth having comes easy, right?



5. It's not really a bad thing after all.
Okay drumroll please. This is the hardest thing of all. How come being in the losing end (as you may think, but no, you are not!), being cheated on, being left behind, and feeling really bad about yourself is not bad?!

Look into the bigger picture. It didn't happen because it will never gonna happen. You are no longer together because you are really not meant to be together. And apart from all the misery that this heartbreak had caused you, you are a better person. It all helped you to accept the good things and the not-so-good things about yourself. You get to start anew, bury all the grudges and just have a clean slate. You should feel fortunate, because not everyone gets the chance to start all over again.


If you're still in the process of moving on, it may be hard to accept everything that I have listed. But hopefully, when the right time comes, when the right person finally comes along, you will never think of the pain the wrong love had caused you. Simply because it led you to the right one. :)

much love,